Mommy Body

I've had the best of intentions over the last couple of days to write again, but a few things kept keeping me from it. First, nothing really exciting has happened that is worthy of taking up the time to write. And since I promised at the end of the last post to try not to bore you to death, I figured you wouldn't really want to hear about the diapers I changed or the spit up that I cleaned up, etc... Second, I've been busy doing the aforementioned tasks and haven't had the opportunity to visit my old friend the computer. We've become very close in the last year. But I have been busy thinking. Lately, my thoughts have centered around one important upcoming event and that is a trip to Florida in March. Yes, it's still a few months away, but when you get excited because the temperature is in the double digits, you really start to look forward to any thoughts of warmness that come your way. Now, as excited as I am about this trip, I have a few fears to cope with also. Jackson is coming with me and even though I have flown with him before, he will be six months old when we fly this time and much more mobile and the flight is 3 times longer than any of the other ones we took. So fear #1: having to sit in a VERY enclosed space for 3 hours with the potential of making a lot of people angry because my child is unhappy. But never fear, dear old Grandma will be with us. My mom is going too, and everyone knows that Grandma's make everything better. So fear #1 is not so bad. Fear #2 however is what haunts me in my sleep. I will be in Florida. Where it is warm. Where I will have to wear less clothing. Possibly even...a bathing suit!! All you women out there understand that fear, but compound it with having had a child within the last six months and it might be enough to put you over the edge. I have a terrible case of mommy body- complete with stretch marks, lumps in places they never used to be, about 15 extra pounds, and BACK FAT!! Add to that the fact that no part of my body has seen the sun in months, and it's not a pretty picture. So needless to say, I have been hit with a major case of body image blues lately. Thankfully, it is still two months away so there is still time to try to lose a few of those extra 15 pounds and maybe lose a little of the back fat. But yesterday as I was thinking about how mean my body is being to me lately, I had a moment of clarity that put it all in perspective for me. Jackson was playing on the floor and making sweet little noises and smiling away and I remembered that my mommy body is what made that sweet child. And if I had the choice between having my pre-pregnancy body back, or having Jackson, I would pick him every time and twice on Tuesdays. He is my blessing and I am so thankful for him. Am I still nervous about putting a bathing suit on ? Definitely. But to be honest, my pre-pregnancy body wasn't all that spectacular either and I probably would still be less than thrilled with the idea of putting a bathing suit on even if I hadn't just birthed a baby. But I am so excited to be able to show off my baby boy to my childhood friends. And being moms themselves, I am sure they will forgive me for my glaring white mommy body.